I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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