The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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