yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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