great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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