dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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