lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize