I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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