After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
