so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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