I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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