Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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