I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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