So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
