just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
false alarm. still invincible.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize