I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
