Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
