if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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