Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
