I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
