i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
