Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
