We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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