I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize