I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had sex on a roof
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
