I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
