Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
