He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
