she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
