I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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