so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
