I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
