I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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