Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
then he tried to convert me to islam
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
