You're so nebulous sometimes
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
