We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
