I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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