I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
