Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
