i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
