Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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