Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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