Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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