The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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