Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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