I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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