Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize