You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
