Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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