did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
