You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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