We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
