I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
