i just wanna soil my oats bro
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
