remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
