She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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