we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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