I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think people are normalizing furries
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