Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
