This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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