he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
