i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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