If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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