why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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