I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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