I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
