We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
