Who did Billy Mays play for?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
